Roland finds a boulder near Bleys and Caine and crouches next it. He closes his eyes and becomes as still as the stone itself. Although nothing physical changes, Roland becomes easily overlooked. He listens...
"...Back in Amber. I can only pray Dad succeeded and he is safe. Even if we cannot return to it, Amber may survive." States Bleys.
Caine smiles. "You are lucky. What of others, who did not follow your lead?"
"And remain in Shadow?"
Caine nods, and Bleys continues speaking. "I cannot say. They may be consumed by the Storm, but I think closer to Amber, the storm might have been weaker, and they could have survived, but the barriers between worlds might have broken, and they could have be thrown in distant Shadows. Or the Storm might affect them, as it does the rest of Shadow."
"Change them, you mean?" Caine asks.
"Yes, the way I understand, Dad intended..." Bleys stops and looks over by Corwin at Akira, as her body tenses and starts to tremble, sobs wrack her small frame and tears stream down her face. At that exact moment Akira begins to shed tears, Roland's eyes snap open.
Fiona quickly takes hold of her shoulder and whispers some words of comfort that calm and sooth. Falling silent, her trembling subsiding, Akira wipes away some of the tears with a shaking hand and looks at her aunt, then Corwin. He looks upon the two women tending Corwin and releases a low rumbling growl. It is not irritation but something else.
It is pain.
"How can a kind expression to another hurt so?" he thinks to himself, "Perhaps it is because she receive it from one I would kill... have killed for and I can receive nothing."
He stands and goes over to the three of them. He slowly sinks to his knees and checks for Corwin's Life Beat. He rummages through his pack and withdraws some parcels. After a moment of hesitation he hands them to Fiona. They are that he has remaining, and he needs them for himself but if they will be even marginally helpful to Fiona... She gets them.
"These are all I have," he said, "They will help with the pain and restore some of his energy."
Fiona turns from Akira and locks eyes with Roland. They soften slightly.
"Yes, they will help," she slowly took them from Roland, "These wounds are deeper than the flesh though. But they will help. Thank you."
"I was taught by the best," was Roland's only reply. "You, you, YOU!" he thinks savagely to himself. "Everything that I am now is based on what you taught me."
But he says nothing more.
He stood and held out his hand to Akira. He said in a soft but strained voice, "Come, young one. Let..." his face contorted as if he was in great pain before it regained it's stony appearance, "...Aunt Fiona treat Corwin."
He is more than a little startled by Corwin's sudden reaction. He was eased by her mere presence. The presence of a loved one. The presence of family.
Roland drops his hand at Corwin's request but does not move away. He remains completely motionless as he stares at the Storm. His expression is blank. As if he were only watching a blue sky over Amber's seas. The battle has left him drained of both energy and spirit. He has never felt like this. He wondered what it would be like to be able to openly show love and respect to those you hold dear. Instead he is required to hide it. It was making him bitter.
When the man, called Merlin, was brought to Corwin's side. It was obvious that he was his son. But what surprised Roland the most was how easily they established a rapport with one another. From complete strangers to cherished family in the blink of an eye.
He looks briefly at Fiona and wonders to himself if it is not too late for them.
Fiona gets up, leaving Corwin and his son alone. The two men sit, drinking a little wine together, and Corwin tells Merlin of his journey to this point, beginning when he awoke in the Shadow hospital, through his blinding, and the ride to this place.
When Fiona moves away he follows her to give Corwin time with his son. He winces in pain again but quickly covers it. As he continues to follow her away, he tries to find a way to talk to her, but with her being gone and Julian training him as if he were one of his hounds instead of raising him like a son, Roland finds he is inadequate to the task. He doesn't know where to start. So, he follows her like a puppy.
Suddenly she spoke.
"What is it you want, Roland?"
"I want my mother."
She turned and faced him. Her eyes flashing angrily in the odd light of Chaos as she drove her finger at his massive chest.
"You think I can give that to you?" she asked harshly, "After all this time. You think you can merely ask and all will be made right."
"I..."
She stepped closer to him and dropped her voice to a savage whisper. She looked him in the eyes and, even with all if his strength; he could not break the grip of her hand on his arm. Part of him didn't want to.
"Do you remember the Pattern Room? You do. I can see it in your face," she said accusingly. "It was you, Roland. You pushed us away."
Those last four words struck him like a hammer and he dropped to his knees with tears brimming in his eyes. He did the only thing he could. He did what no Amberite has ever done and meant with their whole heart. Until now.
He apologized.
"Oh, Roland," she said softly as she ran her fingers through his long hair, "My boy."
He looked up at her through bleary eyes. He dared to be hopeful.
"So much has happened," she started gently. "It has been centuries since it has been you and I. The wounds that are deeper than flesh are slow to heal. What was will never be again."
Roland dropped his head in despair only to have her grab his chin and force him to look at her. Her eyes flashed with annoyance but they seemed tempered by something else.
"But know this and bury it deep in your heart otherwise it will be turned against you, I, us... There is bond between us. There always has been and always will be. Remember that and you can draw great strength from it. It is what I do."
She wiped his eyes with the edge of her sleeve and pulled him to his feet. "Come, let us return. Our difficulties will be swept away if something is not done." she eyed him critically, coldly, as if she was purchasing a jewel, "Are you hurt?"
"Nothing that will not heal."
She briefly gave him one of her rare, honest, smiles. Then the wall between them returns but at least now there was some windows.
Roland returns with Fiona when Benedict arrives. He appears less stiff than before and moving with ease. He follows Fiona behind her right shoulder as if he were an escort or honor guard.