The cavern eerie in the darkness, semi-darkness I suppose since the faint glow of the great Pattern of Amber which stands before me provides faint illumination. A lantern stands some way ahead of me near the beginning of the thing, it's light casting great shadows, ironic that.
By my side mother repeats her instructions for the umpteenth time.
"...do not stop no matter what, and never stop trying. Do you understand boy?"
There it was again, 'boy'. The contempt, she'd made it plain for the past several months that she felt I'd fail, that I'd be blasted into nothingness by the forces of Order. Bitch! She'd still made me go through hours of training and preparation. You'll see. This is my day, coming of age, a true Prince in my own right at last. Fifteen years old, physically a boy, but I know I am more than that, much more.
"Yes mother" I replied passively.
Off in the shadows somewhere stood Benedict and although I wasn't sure, I'd thought I'd spotted Caine and Julian enter whilst mother was repeating her damned instructions. Good then, at least there'd be witnesses I had respect for.
Mother stops her prattle; I can feel my anger rising at her lack of feeling for me yet again. Why now damn you? Why must you make me feel as though I am nothing to you?
Taking me by the shoulders she turns me to face her and intones in a voice that I feel lacks any shred of sincerity.
"Brennus my son, today you come into your own. The Pattern is part of you, so you will succeed in walking it. Go forth now and become what you are destined to be."
She releases me now, and steps back into the shadows too.
Everything is up to me now.
I step forward, stand beside the lantern ready to begin. Why must I hesitate, why must it be when the three men I most admired are here? I rage inwardly at my own cowardice, and at mother's contempt. No, I will do this. If I must fail and die, then I am unfit anyway, let it be so then.
I step forward setting foot on the Pattern. No way back now, no begging off, no easy way out. Succeed or die my only options. Walking on along the great glowing seam of light the glowing thread, I feel the current I'd been warned of. At my feet sparks begin to appear, a halo of light, an electrical crackle begins with each step. I feel I am walking through water not as hard as I'd expected, yes I can succeed.
A great arcing length of the pattern lies behind me, my hair rising high as if stirred by a tempest the sparks at my feet brighter, larger. Suddenly the feeling of walking through water is replaced by a feeling of walking through a torrent each step harder than the last; I push on sweat appearing on my brow. The sparks and electrical current rise up a notch. A voice? A whisper? Distraction ignore it Brennus you will die if you fail, you cannot afford to lose concentration now. A dam bursting, the pressure eases. The First Veil is behind me. Yes! I push on, the sparks and current increasing accompanied by the whisper increasing in volume. Block it out push on, am I going mad? The pressure again, the Second Veil approaches, a word, no my name, calling out in my head.
"Brennus." Barely audible a whisper. A ghost? A mirage perhaps?
I push, striving with all my will, every muscle tense, sparks to my waist. I feel I have been here forever advancing but feeling that I have not moved. Suddenly an easing off, another dam has burst. I move on, the grand Curve lies ahead, I must concentrate; I am fit! Would I have got this far else? The voice again now. No, leave me be!
"Brennus, avenge me."
What is this madness, 'Who are you?' I ask mentally. No response.
The resistance rises, each step like pushing back an avalanche, I move on through turns, angles, and curves. Nearing the end now, straight on to the Final Veil, sparks about my shoulders, blinding in their intensity, feet dragging like lead weights.
I hear the voice again urgent yet barely audible above the sound of the thumping of my heart.
"Kill the bitch! Take back what is mine! Avenge me!"
Is this delusion, will I be a shambling wreck when I depart the Pattern?
Be gone from me; I will have none of you! I shout inside my head. Silence, the voice has heard or have I come to my senses?
All around me is light, the Pattern is lost in the sparks, I am blinded. I move my feet on inch by inch. Each step an age of the world. Onward, step by step by step. There is a sudden easing of pressure, the Final Veil behind me now.
The termination of the Pattern lies ahead along a short curve. It seems three steps should do the trick. Each step takes more effort, seems worse than the rest of the Pattern put together, I begin to falter.
No I will get through, I am Brennus, son of Corwin and Dara.
I push on tears of rage in my eyes.
Silence, but for my own breathing, is this darkness too, no a dim glow almost a ring about me. No other sensation, no resistance. What is this? Am I dead?
No, I have won through. I Brennus have walked the Pattern, all of infinite shadow is mine! I would jump and prance and shout for the joy of it, but the fatigue and something of my training prevent me from making such a spectacle. The voice, yes what had it said, a question? I cannot remember. Hallucination then. Put it from your mind, to celebrate now, yes.
I will the Pattern to transport me to my mother's side, to Benedict, Caine and Julian.
I am Brennus. Prince and Lord of Shadow.