We sit in mother's study, a magical workshop really or perhaps a laboratory. Mother, beautiful as diamonds and equally invulnerable.
"No, no, no! What is wrong with you boy?" she hisses
Queen Dara, my mother, seems unhappy with me again, I can't help but react the way I do though.
"How many times have I told you, when you attain the baseline chthonic state you need to expand your awareness to attain the first true level of consciousness, why do you fall apart boy."
Her face is flushed in anger, her eyes hard, I flinch involuntarily.
"I'm sorry mother, it's too difficult."
My eyes are downcast, I am afraid to meet her eye lest she see an anger which matches her own. Bitch I hate this and I hate you.
"Shall we try again mother?" I say instead.
I hope she'll say no, she being mother of course doesn't.
"You are my son and a Prince of Amber, you will learn. Now! Begin."
I scream inwardly, 'No, why must I do this, I detest it'. In truth I fear it too.
I comply with her command, mother will never take no for an answer. One day I will refuse, one day she will do as I bid, I promise myself that. To the task, no point really, I will fail as I have done on every other attempt.
I begin. Breathe, visualize the rippling golden thread of light, elevate the mind through the mist of thought, transcend consciousness, yes, easy this part now, it hadn't been easy at first but yes easy now. The next step, the stage I fear and loathe. Passing into the thread, I see many avenues, golden torrents, widening, my mind expanding with the flood, no, no not that, I feel my mind about to explode, tearing apart. I must withdraw. I fall.
Shuddering, in shock I return to myself, mother's stony expression says more than words. Not satisfied with my shamed expression she uses words too, acid on my soul, my pride lashed to the core.
"That a son of mine should be so limited! Be gone, your presence offends me."