CS Alum Shines as the Golden Bachelorette

Before she was handing out roses to 24 eligible suitors at the famous Bachelor Mansion, the dating scene for Joan Vassos (B.S. ’85, computer science) consisted of Delta Gamma formals or meetups at College Park bars.

The University of Maryland alum last fall appeared on the debut season of “The Golden Bachelor,” a senior spinoff of ABC’s long-running series “The Bachelor,” where contestants vie for the affections of the lead—and often a proposal. After leaving the show early to help a daughter struggling with postpartum depression, Vassos was named the first “Golden Bachelorette,” relishing her chance to find love in her later years. The new series premiered on Sept. 18.

“The emotional journey for myself, which I thought I was totally ready for, was really significant. I found out things about myself that I had no idea were harboring inside,” said Vassos, whose late husband, John, died in 2021 of pancreatic cancer. “I got to the end of it so different than when I entered it.”

The private school administrator, mother and grandmother from Rockville, Md., studied computer science during her time at UMD, which she calls “the greatest four years” of her life. She laughs thinking back to using card readers and waiting for hours to get a 30-minute slot in a computer lab—things foreign to today’s laptop-toting Terps.

Four decades later, finding a partner, too, looks a lot different than getting on a bus for her sorority’s annual spring formal in Annapolis—some of her only real dates in college, she said.

“There certainly are similarities. Meeting people for the first time, revealing things about yourself and getting to know people have stood the test of time,” Vassos said. “But when you walk into a place when you’re in college, you assume that everybody in that room is single. When you’re dating at this age and you walk into a place, you assume everybody is a couple, because at this stage of my life, everybody I know is married.”

“The Golden Bachelorette” aims to break down those barriers, bringing together a pool of two dozen single men in their late 50s and 60s who are all looking for a match. Dates in the first three episodes, whether in a one-on-one or group format, have ranged from a talent show and a kickball game to trips to Disneyland and Las Vegas.

As Vassos joins viewers across America watching her journey for the first time on TV, she’s gotten a chuckle out of seeing the senior men climb into the mansion’s bunk beds and give each other grief about snoring. But beyond that, their interactions with each other have been eye-opening, she said.

And while she can’t let any spoilers slip before the finale airs later this fall, she did note that she’s been surprised about just how sentimental the whole process was.

“At this age, you’ve had big life events. You’re not on the show because everything has gone right for you. Something has gone wrong. You ended up not being with the person you thought you were going to be with for the rest of your life,” she said. “There are interesting and big conversations about these life events, and those are heavy, and they are really important because they’re what shaped each of us and made us who we are. It gave me true feelings for these other people.”

—Story by Maryland Today